Brownsville, TX -- The 'space race' competition between Jeff Bezo's Blue Origin Enterprises and Elon Musk's Space Exploration Technologies Co. heated up this week.
The first salvo was when Blue Origin launched an all female celebrity crew into space today, with the group reportedly experiencing several minutes of weightlessness before returning safely to Earth. In response, SpaceX announced they will be collecting up all Musk's ex-girlfriends and launching them into space for an orbit around the Earth, then return them safely.
According to SpaceX spokesman John Carpenter "Yes, Blue Origin sent a few women into space for a few minutes. That's nice. We're going to do something much more challenging: track down all Elon's ex-girlfriends and send them into space in one big batch."
He later provided more details, "The plan is to find as many of Elon's exes as we can - well, the first 16,800 kg of them - pack them in the payload bay of a Falcon Heavy and launch them for a brief flight to Low Earth Orbit. They should have about 90 minutes of weightlessness to complain about how cold it is and compare beauty and fashion tips. Any longer than that and our calculations show things likely to get catty: a significant safety hazard which would jeopardize the mission."
He declined to answer questions, adding "We're calling it the 'piece of Astronaut' mission and it is a once in a lifetime opportunity for the many, many women out there that have known Elon ... intimately. Anyone currently pregnant or breastfeeding will not be eligible, I'm sorry."
Statistics: Posted by Panem Et Circenses — 4/14/2025, 12:38 pm